ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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