Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
