oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
