literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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