So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Randomize
