I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize