I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
