i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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