threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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