I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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