6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
