I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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