Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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