either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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