My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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