There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I cockslap morals
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
