She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
