We're like a lot better than the average bears
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
