I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
