Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm bleeding and have questions
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize