ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
