And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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