HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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