So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
