After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
