I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
