Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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