what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
