I want to have your abortion
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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