After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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