and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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