Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
