Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
