Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
