they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he puts the penis in happiness.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
