please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
