I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
