I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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