Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
BRING THE BAGELS
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
