i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
