At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
