It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize