I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
