tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
