yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
