No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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