her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize