My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
