Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
