I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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