Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
