My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
