I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize