I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i believe in u and ur pee
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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