The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
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