this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
