Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
