Banned from zoo.
Again?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
