Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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