i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize