They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
