I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
