Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
