cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
